by Whiski Business on May 28, 2011

Rewind PLEASE!

Have you ever wished you could take back something you’ve said? I do it ALL the time and it’s just wrong. Kinda like a 52 year old white woman doing the “snappy finger Z thing” and saying “OH NO you didn’t” Yeah, I’ve been known to do that. **hangin head in shame** I believe there’s no one in the world who needs a rewind and erase button more than me.

“I did not have sexual relations with that woman” Okay, maybe him.

“They’re our next door neighbors and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska” Uh…yeah, her too.

“I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were ever supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever” This one may not be as obvious—Poor Ms. Alabama!

Maybe there are a few other people who wish they had a rewind and erase button also, I’ll concede, but let me give you an idea how unfiltered I can be… I’m in the grocery store trying to mind my own business. When it happened—-two Nuns came in. In the full Nun garb, the whole habit thingie and BIG crosses hanging around their necks. They HAD to come into the store where I was, they couldn’t pick a different store. Then, they HAD to walk over to where I was, they couldn’t go to the other side of the store and not tempt me…Noooooo, they came right towards me. It went something like this….

Me “Hey girls”

Nuns-silent nod.

Me “You know what you call a Nun that walks in her sleep?”

Nuns-silent negative nod.

Me “A roamin catholic!!” HAHA!!! I crack me up!!

Nuns-a “did you REALLY just say that?” look and a silent nod.

Luckily, I was not struck by lightening and I’m working on filtering…..

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